philosophy

Life is little more than a loan shark: It exacts a very high rate of interest for the few pleasures it concedes. ~Luigi Pirandello


Life is a shit sandwich. But if you've got enough bread, you don't taste the shit. ~Jonathan Winters


There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last. ~Robert Louis Stevenson


The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line. ~H.L. Mencken


Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of. ~Agnes' Law


Life is one big judgment call. ~The Quote Garden


Chance is always powerful, let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. ~Ovid


Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run. The daily work - that goes on, it adds up. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams


Life is a series of collisions with the future. ~José Ortega y Gasset


To the student I would say, "Life is principally multiple choice, but at the end there's a tough essay question." ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing. ~Marcus Aurelius, Meditations


Life is half spent before we know what it is. ~George Herbert, Jacula Prudentum, 1651


Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss your teeth so you'll have healthy gums in your old age, and then you get in your car and drive down I-10 and die. Life is so stupid I can't stand it. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams


Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust - we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper. ~Albert Einstein, in The Saturday Evening Post, 26 October 1929


Jack Palance: "Do you know what the secret of life is? One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don't mean shit."
Billy Crystal: "Yeah, but what's that one thing?"
Jack Palance: "That's what you've got to figure out."
~From the movie City Slickers


Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. ~Dennis Wholey


Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. ~Author Unknown


Why do critics make such an outcry against tragicomedies? is not life one? ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827


What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. ~Crowfoot, 1890, as quoted in Catch the Whisper of the Wind compiled by Cheewa James


Have you noticed that life, real honest-to-goodness life, with murders and catastrophes and fabulous inheritances, happens almost exclusively in the newspapers? ~Jean Anouilh, The Rehearsal, 1950


God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. ~Garrison Keillor


The meaning of life is not an unquestionable answer; it is an unanswerable question. ~The Quote Garden


Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. ~Mel Brooks


Unbeing dead isn't being alive. ~e.e. cummings